The Words We Speak

 

So much has been weighing on my heart and my mind. In sharing, I hope this reaches someone else.

 

               Someone said to me that they were unhappy with how they looked, that they looked big. Someone told me one day that they didn’t really like themselves, that there was nothing to like. Someone told me one day that they didn’t know how anyone could love them. Each time these things were said, it hurt my heart. I believe, most of all, that it hurt the heart of my Father.

               I have spent so much, too much, of my life feeling “less than” or “not enough.” Instead of focusing on all that God had made me to be and do, I zeroed in on what I was not. Whether it was how I looked, my personality, gifts or talents, dreams or ambitions, it was sub-par. I believe THAT also hurt the heart of my Father.

               Take a moment to think about the person you love most in this world. Probably for most of us that is very hard to narrow down, so just pick someone in your top tier of loved ones that you hold near and dear to your heart. Think of all you love about that person. Think of the times you have spent laughing with them, crying with them, confiding in them, raising them, caring for them, and so much more depending on who they are to you. Your heart overflows with love for them, for who they are, for the value they have as a person, and for the relationship you share.

               Now take a moment to imagine that person telling you they hate themselves.

               Imagine them telling you that there is nothing good in them or about them.

               Imagine them telling you that no one could love them.

               Imagine them telling you that nothing they do is right.

               Imagine them telling you that they have no worth and will never be good enough.

               Imagine them telling you that they don’t look good enough.

               Imagine watching them self-destruct.

               We look at those we love from outside. We cannot see in their heart. We cannot see in their mind. They have battles going on and raging inside that they often will not share and try their best to conceal. They feel that they cannot deal with one more thing, even going so far as wanting to end it…not wanting to live another day. They are fighting depression and oppression, feeling they must bear the weight alone. They don’t want to put weight on anyone else and don’t want to be a burden.

Again, oh how this breaks the heart of our Father.

               In all honesty and transparency, I have dealt with depression, felt hopeless, gone to therapy, and did “all of the things” to make it better. After all of that, all I can say is that my only hope is in the Lord. When I take my eyes off me and my issues, my problems, and look to Him instead, I find that HE is the lifter of my head. When I surrender my will and my way, my heart and my mind, letting Him be Lord in my life as He is meant to always be…that is when I find peace and contentment. When I begin to look at things that I am grateful for and blessed with, I see how selfish so many of my thoughts have been when the focus was on me.

               It’s time we changed how we speak and how we think. It’s time to look for the best in others, but also to believe the best about ourselves because we are fearfully and wonderfully made! We need to be good stewards of the body we have been blessed with, the only one we get! We need to spend our time mindfully, studying His Word, praying and listening to the Lord, and lifting Him up in worship. He is worthy of our time and worthy of all the praise! He is also a God who does not lie. His Word is true. It’s time that we stop running ourselves into the ground with our words about ourselves. It is time we stop repeating the lies that the enemy screams at us all day long.

               It is time for me to be who he has made me to be. It’s an ongoing battle to deflect the attacks of the enemy, and he is not going to stop. But the God I serve is so much greater than anything that the devil can fling at me. In the best times, in joy, in the hardest times, in pain, I know that I am not alone.

               If you are fighting depression today, know that you are not alone. There is a God who loves you. There are people who love you. However, we cannot look for our fulfillment and purpose in another person. We will only find that in the Lord. Give it all to Him. Jesus gave it all for us. We can trust Him. Always.