The Words We Speak

 

So much has been weighing on my heart and my mind. In sharing, I hope this reaches someone else.

 

               Someone said to me that they were unhappy with how they looked, that they looked big. Someone told me one day that they didn’t really like themselves, that there was nothing to like. Someone told me one day that they didn’t know how anyone could love them. Each time these things were said, it hurt my heart. I believe, most of all, that it hurt the heart of my Father.

               I have spent so much, too much, of my life feeling “less than” or “not enough.” Instead of focusing on all that God had made me to be and do, I zeroed in on what I was not. Whether it was how I looked, my personality, gifts or talents, dreams or ambitions, it was sub-par. I believe THAT also hurt the heart of my Father.

               Take a moment to think about the person you love most in this world. Probably for most of us that is very hard to narrow down, so just pick someone in your top tier of loved ones that you hold near and dear to your heart. Think of all you love about that person. Think of the times you have spent laughing with them, crying with them, confiding in them, raising them, caring for them, and so much more depending on who they are to you. Your heart overflows with love for them, for who they are, for the value they have as a person, and for the relationship you share.

               Now take a moment to imagine that person telling you they hate themselves.

               Imagine them telling you that there is nothing good in them or about them.

               Imagine them telling you that no one could love them.

               Imagine them telling you that nothing they do is right.

               Imagine them telling you that they have no worth and will never be good enough.

               Imagine them telling you that they don’t look good enough.

               Imagine watching them self-destruct.

               We look at those we love from outside. We cannot see in their heart. We cannot see in their mind. They have battles going on and raging inside that they often will not share and try their best to conceal. They feel that they cannot deal with one more thing, even going so far as wanting to end it…not wanting to live another day. They are fighting depression and oppression, feeling they must bear the weight alone. They don’t want to put weight on anyone else and don’t want to be a burden.

Again, oh how this breaks the heart of our Father.

               In all honesty and transparency, I have dealt with depression, felt hopeless, gone to therapy, and did “all of the things” to make it better. After all of that, all I can say is that my only hope is in the Lord. When I take my eyes off me and my issues, my problems, and look to Him instead, I find that HE is the lifter of my head. When I surrender my will and my way, my heart and my mind, letting Him be Lord in my life as He is meant to always be…that is when I find peace and contentment. When I begin to look at things that I am grateful for and blessed with, I see how selfish so many of my thoughts have been when the focus was on me.

               It’s time we changed how we speak and how we think. It’s time to look for the best in others, but also to believe the best about ourselves because we are fearfully and wonderfully made! We need to be good stewards of the body we have been blessed with, the only one we get! We need to spend our time mindfully, studying His Word, praying and listening to the Lord, and lifting Him up in worship. He is worthy of our time and worthy of all the praise! He is also a God who does not lie. His Word is true. It’s time that we stop running ourselves into the ground with our words about ourselves. It is time we stop repeating the lies that the enemy screams at us all day long.

               It is time for me to be who he has made me to be. It’s an ongoing battle to deflect the attacks of the enemy, and he is not going to stop. But the God I serve is so much greater than anything that the devil can fling at me. In the best times, in joy, in the hardest times, in pain, I know that I am not alone.

               If you are fighting depression today, know that you are not alone. There is a God who loves you. There are people who love you. However, we cannot look for our fulfillment and purpose in another person. We will only find that in the Lord. Give it all to Him. Jesus gave it all for us. We can trust Him. Always.

His Eye Is On The Sparrow...

     God's timing is perfect. Not only that, His ways are perfect. His love is perfect. His thoughts toward us are perfect. I spend so much of my time feeling incredibly undeserving of His love. And yet, in my feelings of unworthiness, He reveals Himself and His heart toward me. I want to share what happened one day last month and I hope that it will minister to you right where you are.
     May 7th, 2020 was a beautiful day for a walk. After having knee surgery on December 31st, I am a bit ashamed to say that I had not really done much in the way of exercise. So, taking it slowly, I thought I would begin walking again. I don't know if I will be able to run anymore, hopefully someday, but walking is a good start.
     As I was coming up a hill I could see something in the road that looked a bit like a curled up leaf. As I got closer I saw that it appeared to be a bird. I was about to walk right past where it was, but could not stand the thought of walking past the little crushed body. As I approached her, I didn't really see any  movement, but thought I would check to be sure. She was laying on her side and I gently prodded her to see if she was alive. To  my surprise, she was!
     The road that I was on is a side road where people tend to drive pretty fast, and I was almost positive if I left the bird there she would be hit again fairly quickly. What else was there to do? There was not a question in my mind... I picked that little sparrow up and walked over to the grass. At first her mouth was hanging open a bit as if she was in shock, but when I picked her up she grabbed my fingers with her little feet. She seemed okay other than being a bit stunned. I didn't know if she would be able to fly, if anything was broken, if there were internal injuries, or anything else.
     There was a line of trees planted along a fence, but she didn't seem quite ready to simply be left in a tree. I was not about to leave her on the ground, as I feared she would end up back in the street or a meal for another animal. I waited a few minutes, but she still showed no inclination to take flight, so I decided to take her home and nurse her back to health. I began to walk towards home with her snugly nestled in my hand. I stroked her back with my thumb, and she was calm and restful. I was already messaging with my mom about how I was to take care of her when I reached home. As I came towards a field edged by the woods, the scent of honeysuckle wafted towards us on the breeze. The little bird perked her head up, as if someone had placed smelling salts under her nose. Suddenly, she simply flew from my hand into the woods and I was so happy for her I could have cried!
     You may read this story and wonder to yourself what the big deal is about the life of one little bird, or maybe you think it was a waste of time trying to save her. But, I know that my Father was teaching me that day. For years I have sung the song, "His Eye Is On The Sparrow," and loved and believed the message of those lyrics. I have heard Luke 12:6, that says, "Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God..." My Lord was showing me that day that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him.
     I walked up the road and found that little sparrow at the precise time she needed help, at the perfect time to save her from danger. If I had walked through earlier, she would not have been there. If I had waited longer, it may have been too late. If there had been traffic right then, I could not have gotten in the road to save her. So many factors had to line up perfectly in order for her life to be saved. God was reminding me that the life of that little sparrow was important. He showed me how much he cared for even that tiny bird.
     And yet, bad things happen. Life hurts. People hurt us. People pass away. Not every bird gets saved from harm. Not every child gets healed of cancer. Not everything in life has an easy fix, but God loves us. God is unchanging. We live in a fallen world. We live in a world filled with sin, hurt, anger, bitterness, sickness, and disease. But there is a Savior who loves us completely, who made the ultimate sacrifice that would last for all of eternity.
     Perhaps you feel the same way I so often do...unworthy, inadequate, like I don't measure up. Perhaps you feel that your problems are too big for God, or that God would help someone else and provide for someone else, but not for you. I'm here to tell you today (as I sit here and remind myself as well) that he cared about and loved that little sparrow, and there is nothing in your life that is beyond His reach, nothing you are facing that He does not care about. Bring your petitions to Him. Pray hard for your answer. Trust the Father that loves you to take care of you even more than He took care of that little sparrow that I found on my walk. Read His word and run after His heart. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. He loves you and He wants nothing but the very best for you.

Unique and Rare Art...You, That Is.

     As a mom, I remember those first moments when my children made their appearance in this world and took their first beautiful breath. It was a time of wonder and a time of awe; to think that God created these amazing human beings and allowed me to be their mom - purely overwhelming.

     Also as a mom, to hear these beautiful children of mine at any point in their day degrade themselves as ugly, fat, stupid, dumb, disgusting, etc., hurts my heart more than I can describe. If only they could see themselves through my eyes...

And there it is...

  If only we could see ourselves through God's eyes.

     When I was much younger, I felt the pressure to be thin, to be pretty, to look a certain way in order for others to like me or approve of me. I felt that if I didn't look the right way, then I wasn't the way I needed to be. I have always had a strong drive as a perfectionist, and in college this drove me into my first experience with a full-blown eating disorder. In the years that followed, I struggled off and on with the same thing, always rooted in that continued drive for perfection and the need to get approval from other people. 

     What I failed to really comprehend, even though I knew it deep down, was that there is only One that I need to worry about pleasing, and that is GOD. There is such a difference in head knowledge and really, actually believing something. I knew the Word, had heard it all of my life, but believing that I was actually fearfully and wonderfully made...well, that was another story! 

     I think now about the many times I have run myself down, talked bad about myself, insulted my body or the way I look, complained about my crooked teeth or whatever else I didn't think measured up; and as I think about all of those terrible things I said, I am ashamed because I know it grieved the heart of my Father.

     My cousin, Shelley, shared a really great post on Facebook a few days ago, and I would like to share a bit of it with you:

"I was in the car yesterday. A long ride, so I had a lot of time for reflection. Boom, it hit me. I have felt so negatively about my body for SO long. I hide it. I make fun of it. I make excuses for it. So, of course it's going to react with pain, weight gain, fatigue; it's reacting to how I feel about it..."

     WOW. What an eye opener. The Word of God says that as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. I would never want my kids to feel about themselves the way I have felt about myself. I do not like to hear them talk about themselves in a way that describes them as any less than who God has created them to be! 

     Well, about a week or so ago, my mom brought me a shirt that she had ordered for me from the Tennessee District Assemblies of God Women's Movement, and it is absolutely beautiful. It is not just a shirt, but a beautiful reminder. It is the truth of who I am in Christ. You may not be able to read the words well in the picture, but it says, "valued, worthy, cherished, chosen, adored," all in beautiful golden lettering. I put that shirt on today and had my daughter take a picture of me in it. This is me. Just me. No filter. No airbrushing. No girdle. No Spanx. Perfectly imperfect me. 

     Today is a new day, a fresh foot forward, and a wake-up call for me. As I struggled with a friend recently over standing in the middle of a picture instead of on the edge so that I couldn't be seen as well, I realized that is no longer who I want to be. I want to show the love of the Lord to everyone, but it is not up to me to please everyone. For one thing, that will just never happen. But, just as I want my children to see the value that I see in them, I accept the value that my heavenly Father has placed in me. I am a priceless treasure to Him, as are you.

     So the next time you see me, I may have lost weight, and I may not have. My focus is to be the healthiest me that I can be, to be a good steward of this body and the life that the Lord has given me. My focus is to reach people for the cause of Christ, to tell them that Jesus loves them with a love they cannot even comprehend. 

     So go ahead. Take a look in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Now, instead of rolling your eyes or cringing at what you see, say to yourself, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Take the words that are on this shirt and tape them on your mirror, paint them on your wall, write them in your journal and post them by your computer at work, but most of all, remember, that you are Valued, Worthy, Cherished, Chosen, and truly Adored. You are a child of the most High God, a child of the King.

     

What's It Worth?

     "Runner's high...is it real? Exactly how far do I have to run to actually reach it?" These are the thoughts I found myself contemplating after another grueling workout yesterday evening. I get excited the most before the workout, and then feel absolutely punished afterwards!
     I have never been a marathon runner or a 5k runner like my son and daughter. Noooo, I am more of a "burst" runner (if that's a thing - if not, it is now). I start out walking at a good, even pace, moving towards power walking, and then I start choosing landmarks as my goals. My starting line might be a light pole, a crack in the pavement I see ahead, or the edge of a field coming up. I choose my starting point and then imagine as I reach it that springs vault me off into a perfect run. I imagine this because the reality is far from that.
     So far, I have done my running bursts on flat, level areas or I take full advantage of downhill stretches. Running uphill is tough. Don't believe me? Give it a try this afternoon. It is rough! Yesterday, for some reason, after a full day of work I came home and got partway through my workout and I decided to run UP a hill I was on instead of waiting to get over it. I began to run and I was able to do it! It was difficult. It was painful. I worked hard to keep my breathing steady and I pushed forward. I was overwhelmed with excitement as I drove myself up that hill, willing myself to get to my next landmark...an adjoining street. I almost made it! I did have to stop for just a few seconds, and then I took off again until I reached that point.
     I felt such a huge sense of accomplishment from those few minutes in my workout. Did I achieve runner's high? No, I didn't. Does it exist? I am beginning to doubt it. But, what it showed me is that I CAN do it, and that if I continue to work hard I WILL do it.
     Our mindset is such a vitally important thing. And this applies to all areas of life. If we feel defeated, we are defeated. The bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. His word also says that we are overcomers through the blood of the Lamb and through the word of our testimony. What words are coming out of our mouths? What thoughts are we allowing to pervade our brain? Are we speaking words of life over ourselves, over our families, over every situation we face? Or are we speaking death, word curses and discouragement?
     As I headed towards home yesterday, I honestly was exhausted and was slowly melting onto the pavement, and suddenly I began to speak life to myself. I began to say, "Strong legs, strong mind, strong body, (etc.)" over and over as I walked and ran. I began to speak life and encouragement to myself (because oh, did I need it!) as I headed home.  
     The same thing applies to every situation in our lives. What is your health worth to you? What is your marriage worth to you? What is your family worth to you? Your ministry, your job, your friends, and on and on the list goes... Everything that is worth having is worth fighting hard for. There are a lot of times we have to run uphill, as well as a lot of times that the road is rough and full of potholes. However, every single day we have the opportunity to speak life and blessing and encouragement over those we love, over our health, over every aspect of our lives.
     One thing I know for sure that is real when I run is when I get my "second wind." My dad used to try to explain that to me when I was younger and I never understood what he meant until I experienced it. When it feels like my lungs cannot get the air they need, I keep going and breathing evenly, and suddenly it is as if they open up and I am refreshed with oxygen once again.
     When we speak life and victory over the situations we face, instead of allowing ourselves to slump over on the side of the road and give up, we get that second wind. When we give those things over to the Lord and let them go into His hands, He strengthens us and He carries the weight for us. Suddenly, problems don't seem so big when we realize that our heavenly Father who loves us is holding every detail right in the palm of His hand. Suddenly, we can breathe again. Suddenly, we find peace and contentment in Him.
     Ask yourself today how you have been facing things in your life. As a victim or a victor? Now ask yourself again those questions from earlier. What is your health worth to you? Your marriage? Your family? Etc... Everything worth having is worth fighting for. Always remember that. Speak life, speak love, speak God's promises and God's truth. We need to run our race as a child of the King. Even if we stumble, fall, or have to walk for a little while; get back up and keep running that race, keep moving forward, and keep pressing on toward a closer walk with Him.

The Tree of Life

     It has taken me a few days to get this post together, and I'm still struggling through it a bit in my mind. Here we are, beginning a new year - 2017, and my mind is racing with all that lies ahead. I don't have resolutions that I have made, but rather, goals that I have set for myself to make this year different and better. The past year certainly had some wake-up call moments for me - some huge reality checks that reminded me just how precious every moment really is.
     Back on August 12th, I lost one of the very best friends I have ever had...suddenly, unexpectedly. She was a little less than a year older than me, and had been 42 for less than a month when she passed away in her sleep. We lived close together, and our daughters are nearly the same age and are friends as well. I expected that we would be little elderly ladies someday out shopping and drinking coffee together, and acting like we were completely crazy...as we always did. It just goes to show how little I really know.
     Our youth group from church went to a conference in Gatlinburg this past weekend to bring in the new year worshiping the Lord and hearing His word. One of the bands that was there was one that my friend and I had seen in concert a couple of years ago, and was one of our absolute favorites! I saw a video from the conference on New Year's Day, and it was a clip of that band as they sang going into the new year. I was so broken thinking about how our daughters were celebrating the new year together at the conference, but she was no longer here to celebrate with us anymore.

     For her 42nd birthday, I gave her a bracelet that said "God" in the shape of a heart, because she loved the Lord so much. I also gave her a Ginger Snaps ring with a Tree of Life snap. She was so excited about it and said it made her cry. When she passed away, her daughter told me that she wanted me to have that ring, and after the funeral she brought it to me. 

     That ring has become such a precious treasure to me. When I wear it, I am always reminded of my friend. Every time I see it, I think of her, and what her friendship meant to me, and I also think about what that tree means to me.
    
     There are so many great analogies of trees in the relationships of our lives...branches and roots...family trees, etc. For me, I see that we each have a tree that is our life. It begins small, and grows not only up, but out. The roots go deep, building a firm foundation of love of family and trust. As the tree grows taller, it also grows stronger. We experience so many things in our lives, good and bad. The good builds us up, while we have to face the bad as well - either allowing it to weaken us or strengthen us. We continue to build relationships and have experiences as we grow older, and the tree's branches grow wide and long and full, healthy and beautiful.
     But, as it is with life, seasons come and seasons go. Some of the branches dry up and die, then break off of the tree and fall away. However, as it goes through these changes, the tree continues to live and grow.
     As I look at my special ring while I type this, I am so thankful for the time I had with my friend. I'm thankful that I had the chance to pray with her, to worship with her, to attend church with her, to shop, hang out, laugh, exercise, watch our girls play basketball, celebrate birthdays, and do so many other fun things with her! I am thankful for the heart-to-heart conversations that we had, for the times we laughed so hard we were crying. I'm thankful for each phone call, text message, social media post, and gift that she took the time and care to give.
     But this is really what I am trying to say in all of this... Enjoy every moment. Don't waste time on petty things. Love people. Really LOVE people. Be genuine and compassionate, kind and generous. Give of yourself. Don't hold back when it comes to telling people how you feel. Let them know they are loved and appreciated and cared for. We never know when the time will come that we will not get another chance. One day it will be our last day, so live to the very fullest now. Be all that God has called you to be. Don't wait until tomorrow. Today is the day.

Life Without the Microwave

Microwave ovens are very handy contraptions. We can use them to cook food, reheat food, warm up hot compresses for aches or injuries, boil water, melt butter (or chocolate), make popcorn, and so much more! So when the moment comes (as it will) that the microwave gives out, it can be slightly inconvenient. We are a family that eats leftovers after I have cooked a meal, so when my husband went to get the mashed potatoes out from the night before, or the spaghetti, or any number of other foods, suddenly reheating became a big ordeal.

We have become accustomed to being able to have something almost right at the moment we think about it, maybe not instantaneously, but close enough. We are very spoiled because of this appliance that gives us what we need so quickly for the most part. And so, it has been a huge adjustment for us not being able to use it.

I started thinking about how we try to fix the problems in our lives with a microwave mentality. We want this or that in five minutes or less. We want our children to act right in five minutes or less. We want our friendship mended in five minutes or less. We want our marriage repaired in five minutes or less. We want our finances to be perfect in 30 seconds or less!

Is this realistic thinking? Has our first world mentality affected the way we deal with this reality called LIFE? We expect things to be exactly the way we want them right this moment, without putting the work into it that is actually required.

If we want our finances to be better, we must budget and be responsible, and not spend beyond our means. If we want our children to behave, we must teach them and discipline them in love and with wisdom. In order to have the very best of friendships, we must be the best friend that we can be, without expecting anything in return. And if we expect to see the best in our marriage, we must be the spouse that God has called us to be. This last one is a whole other subject that would take too long to get into on this post, but I will say this…when we love and respect and honor our spouse, it will make all the difference in the world in our marriage. When we lift them up and encourage them, let them know daily how much they mean to us, and give them our time and attention, we are not only honoring the person, but we are honoring God by following His instruction.

These are only a few examples of the plethora of things that we deal with daily with our microwave mentality. The last one I want to talk about is our relationship with God. So often, instead of talking to Him all through our busy days and lifting Him up with our worship and praise, we wait until there is a crisis in our lives to call on Him in desperation. Instead of seeking His will in our lives on our knees in His presence, we wait until we need something and then begin to cry out to Him for help. God is not some cosmic microwave, where you push a button and everything is fixed in a few seconds. Our Father wants our time. He wants our love. He wants our whole heart. I do my best to give my own children what they need and want, but it completely melts my heart when they love on me and want to spend time with me. If the only time they ever spoke to me was when they needed something, I have to say that would hurt. Unfortunately, we seem to not realize how it hurts the heart of God when we don’t give Him our love and our time. He knows we are not perfect better than anyone because He made us, but He also desires to be close to us and He desires communication with us – not just us talking to Him, but listening to Him. He is our heavenly Father, and He desires relationship with us. He didn’t call us to be “religious” people; He called us to be followers of Christ. He called us to be the church. We cannot do those things if our walk with Him is based on this microwave mentality with which we treat so many other things.

Today, take a moment to really think about how you deal with the things in your life…with people, with problems, etc. Ask yourself if you have been treating everything in your life with the microwave mentality. And most importantly, make a change. Sometimes life without the microwave is what we needed all along.

What Lies Beneath...

This is a hard subject to talk on, but one that I feel strongly led to write about. I sat down to write what was on my heart yesterday, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Sometimes, it can be very hard to find where to start, and it’s easier just to pack away what is on my heart than to pour it out.

I’m about to say something brutally honest. So before you get offended, please hear me out.

Are you ready? Have you braced yourself?

Okay, here goes… None of us, and I mean NONE of us, are perfect. Not a single one of the humans on this earth are without flaw; not you, and certainly not me. Did you fall in the floor from the shock of what I said? Most likely you were not shocked at all because, let’s face it; we all know that we are a very long way from perfection. We don’t lie when we look in the mirror and say to ourselves, “Hey, you! You in the mirror…you are absolutely perfect!” Okay, so maybe there are some narcissistic people that might say that…

The truth is that we all have issues, have all made mistakes, and are all a work in progress. We had a pastor visit our church a couple of weeks ago that talked about how we are all under construction. When I went to kids’ camp as a child, our theme one summer was “Kids Under Construction.” This is the truth of who we are as followers of Christ; we are continually being molded and shaped into the image of our Father. We seek daily to become like the One who saved us and gave His all for us.

Why then, do we feel the need to wear a mask and be fake as we go about our day? Why then, do we feel the need to hide behind a façade? The meaning of façade is this: “The image that a person presents to others.” A façade is not who we truly are, but how we wish to appear. I’m not saying that if we are having a bad day, or someone hurts our feelings, that we should go around falling in the floor crying about it, but why do we feel the need to wear the mask that says (untruthfully), “I have it all together?” It seems that this is especially true in the Church. Our youth pastor’s wife made a comment this past week that the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” is not something that will work with God. He sees through to the core of who we are. We can fake all we want to, but He doesn’t see the mask we wear. He sees what lies beneath it.

I put up a post on social media this week about needing a safe place, a place where we can be real. But sometimes we don’t have a safe place. Sometimes we don’t feel that there is anyone we can talk to about what we are struggling with, what we are discouraged about, what or who has hurt us, or how we may have messed up. I have a friend that always says, “Loose lips sink ships,” and another friend posted a meme today that said, “Be careful who you vent to. A listening ear is also a running mouth.” This is why we have such a hard time finding that safe place…we feel that we just can’t know for sure once we have taken our mask off that the person who sees what lies beneath that mask won’t run and tell everyone else how flawed we are. We have a hard time with trust. It’s often said that “ministry is a very lonely place,” and this is one of the reasons why…we so often pour out what God has put inside of us for others, but then feel that there is no one we can trust there for us when we need them.

We, as Christians, as followers of Christ, should be completely trustworthy. When someone bares their darkest parts, areas in which they need prayer, or just needs to talk things out privately, we have to prove ourselves worthy of that trust. The only One we should share with is the Lord as we lift them up to Him in prayer. We each need a safe place, so we should always treat others as we wish to be treated in matters of privacy.

There are times and seasons, however, where we may no longer have a safe place, or may not have found that place yet, and what we have to understand is that GOD is always that safe place. He is our shelter. He loves us more than anyone has ever loved us, and He only wants the very best for us as we seek His face and follow after His heart. We have not attained perfection, but we strive for it daily in Him. Each day, we should be doing our very best to live pure and holy lives as we walk with the Lord.

I heard a song this week by a group called Skillet that really pulls the mask off in a very real and truthful way. It’s called “Monster,” and talks about how we so often hide what is inside because we don’t want people to know who we really are when no one else is around. If you don’t like this band or the music, just please give credence to the message they present as they reach young people for Christ.

“The secret side of me I never let you see,

I keep it caged, but I can’t control it

So stay away from me, the beast is ugly

I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it

It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls

It comes awake and I can’t control it

Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head

Why won’t somebody come and save me from this? Make it end

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster.”

 

I know that this has been a long post, but it is vitally important. What is hidden must be dealt with. If you have a dish of old food on the kitchen counter, you can spray air freshener all you want to, but all it will do is mask the smell. Eventually, the rotten, moldy food must be uncovered, thrown in the trash and taken out! We can continue to wear our masks day in and day out, and the people we come in contact with may never know the difference; but God sees through to our heart. He always knows the truth, and He loves us enough to not want us to stay in that shape anymore. Masking what is inside can lead to depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and despair. Uncovering the deep wounds and allowing them to be healed will bring restoration and peace, forgiveness and hope. It’s time stop covering up what lies beneath, and allow our Savior to shine His light into those dark places. It’s time to find our safe place in Him, throw our masks aside, and allow Him to shape us into His glorious image.

Stillness

I have felt a heaviness resting on me lately. It’s been like a weight resting on my shoulders day in and day out. There was not really any particular reason for it, although a few things may have contributed to it along the way. It just wasn’t anything I could really pin down. I would pray, worship, seek the Lord, and was still feeling the weight. Teens these days would say I had a case of the “feels,” or that I was “all up in my feelings!” And, maybe I was…well, definitely I was.

Have you ever experienced this? It’s that feeling that you’re walking outside on a beautiful sunny day with a dark cloud hovering right above your head everywhere you go. You try to wave it away, try to ignore it, put on a smile and go on, but it just won’t go away.

God has been doing miraculous things in my life, in our family, our church, and in the lives of friends. And as wonderful as it would be to live on that mountaintop, it is not reality. I’ve always heard it said that you are either going into a trial, in the midst of a trial, or coming out of one. So, you are either going up the mountain, you’re on top of the mountain, or you’re descending from it. There is also the possibility that you are going around it, trying to avoid it! I know that because of what God has been doing in my life, it is inevitable that opposition will come from the enemy. I know these things, and yet, still was walking around feeling defeated.

Since I am armed with this knowledge, the question becomes, “How will I overcome this?” I can smile all day long and walk around like nothing is going on, while complete turmoil is roiling on the inside. I can put on my mask and pretend that I have it all together. OR, I can draw near to God, knowing that when I do so, HE will draw near to me. I actually posted something on social media this week about this very subject; not because I was preaching it to anyone else, but because I needed it for myself. I know that when I’m going through something like this, the only answer is to press into His Presence, to delve deep into His Word, to renew my mind daily so that I will be transformed from that “darkness” I’m trapped under, into His glorious light! Darkness cannot remain in the perfect love and holy presence of God.

Then this morning, I woke up and felt the Lord drawing me to Him. Not just to go sit on the couch and read my bible or to put in some headphones and listen to worship music; no, he was calling me into the quiet place, into the stillness and peace that can only be found in Him. I didn’t make my coffee. I didn’t fix breakfast. I went and grabbed my bible and my daily devotional, and headed outside. I really felt that I needed to go out and sit under a tree in the middle of the yard and read. I didn’t know why at the time. But when the Lord draws you, it is always the right choice to obey, whether you understand or not.

I went outside and opened up my devotion first, and began to read about God drawing us to Him in the quiet of the morning. He was confirming to me exactly why He had wanted me to go outside. I needed to get away from all the distractions, all of the noise of everyday life. I was not interrupted as I read my bible and spent time with the Lord. I was not pulled this way and that. I was in the quiet place with the Lord, in that place of restoration and healing, that place of joy and perfect peace. I was in that place where darkness cannot hide and where the clouds must lift. In stillness, the weight lifted. As I knew that my Savior and my Redeemer wanted that quiet time with me this very morning (and every morning), that He loves me so much that in every moment of my life He is holding me close, I felt the weight lift. As I sought His heart, I felt the weight lift.

We don’t have to walk around defeated. We don’t have to feel beaten down and discouraged. We don’t even have to be anxious or depressed, not knowing the reasons why we feel that way. He has made us MORE than conquerors, and in Him we are able to overcome through the blood of Jesus and through the word of our testimony. If you are trying to wave away your dark cloud today, don’t try to do it in your own strength. Find stillness in that quiet place, the secret place of the Most High, press into His Presence and find peace in the midst of your storm.

Overcoming the Obstacle of the Distorted Mirror

Overcoming the Obstacle of the Distorted Mirror

A few weeks ago, as I opened up my internet home page, one of the main news headlines on MSN was talking about a certain reality star “rockin’ a bikini at 40!” Yes, folks, items like this are headline news. Oh, there were other stories about what was going on in the government, in the world of finance, probably some new bacteria or virus somewhere, gasoline prices, and other similar subjects; but who could care about those things when so-and-so is “rockin’ a bikini at 40?”

The article was a symptom to me of a deeper issue in our society. We all know that there is a great deal of attention given to all sorts of famous people around the world, but the issue I’m referring to is the one in which our worth is determined by how we look, or even, what we have. The issue is that of a superficial mindset that looks at the outside, and asserts judgment as to who a person is on the inside. This is the issue of the distorted mirror.

I have wasted so many years of my life feeling insecure about how I looked in the mirror. I would look at the covers of magazines and see what looked like perfection on each one while waiting my turn in the check-out line. I have stood and stared at the covers of those books or at the gum selection, or whatever might be at hand, just so that someone I know passing by would hopefully not notice that I was standing there…in turn seeing just how inadequate I was. I am currently preparing to shoot the cover for my upcoming album, and while this should be an exciting time, I instead find myself feeling dread and apprehension because I won’t look like a model on one of those covers.

Where does this mindset come from that our outside has to look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful? Why do we have to drive a certain kind of car or live in a certain kind of house in order to seem successful and worthy? Why does our job have to determine who we are?

First of all, no matter how amazing or perfect you look on the outside, God sees through to the heart. If that isn’t beautiful and pleasing to Him, then no amount of diets, makeup, Botox, exercise, hair dye, fancy clothes, or anything else will make you truly beautiful. No matter what you have, if you don’t have Jesus as your Savior, then you have nothing. Possessions are temporary, and we all know that we can’t take them with us when we go. When you stand before God someday, you won’t pull up in that sports car or hand Him a wad of cash to pay your way into Heaven. He will only want to know one thing. He will want to know if you gave your all to Jesus. No matter what kind of job you have, whether you are the CEO of a major corporation or cleaning the parking lot outside that corporation, each of us is the same in the eyes of God.

I have come to realize that no matter how imperfect I may appear to be on the outside, God made me perfect in His sight. I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I can walk with my head held high because I am a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The One who created the universe loves me so much that He sent His son to die for my sin, to take all of my shame, and to redeem me to Himself. He loves me unconditionally with a love like no other. I will do all that I can to shine His light into this world and to show His love to everyone I meet. I will smile. I will show compassion. I will be kind. I will be honest, even though the truth is sometimes painful. I will strive daily to be like Jesus.

You see, it doesn’t matter how the world views me, or even how I view myself in the distorted mirror of my own mind. My worth is found in Him. Whether I am a size 2 or a size 22, the one thing that determines my worth is who I am in Christ. Whether I am driving a Pinto or a Porsche, my worth is not found in the things of this world, but in Christ.

I hope that today, this moment, we will stop looking at the outside, and begin to look for what really matters in a person. And I hope that we will smash that distorted mirror image we have of ourselves, the mirror that is warped by feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing. I hope that we will begin to look deeper in ourselves, and in those around us, to find the real beauty inside when we reflect the light of Christ. It doesn’t matter if you can rock a bikini at 70! What does matter is if you are standing on THE Rock…Jesus.

Mother's Day

It's been a while since I've been able to post on here! Today is Mother's Day, and I just would like to say that I hope all of you have had a wonderful day with those that you love. I just wanted to take a moment to share something that I wrote to give to my mom today. I'm so thankful for her, and I'm so thankful today that I have been blessed to BE a mom!

    

     "Once upon a time there was a beautiful young lady with a big heart. She met a man that completed her heart and she married him. They became the parents to a baby girl. The young lady held her baby girl in her arms and poured all of the love in her heart on her new young child. Once, she slipped and fell, and she hurt herself rather than let go of her baby and allow the little girl to be hurt. The new mom gave the child everything that she needed...food, clothing, toys, a soft bed, and especially LOVE.

     Through the years she listened to her daughter whenever she needed to talk, and offered advice when needed. She held her daughter's hand to keep her safe, and held them because she wanted to; and her little girl would play with her mom's fingernails because they were the prettiest hands in the world. She held her daughter's hand until one day the young girl no longer needed help walking, and one day she no longer needed help crossing the street, and one day she walked on her own and was able to let go.

     She lost many nights of sleep making sure that her daughter was well taken care of. She made her clothes, made her treats, taught her to draw, taught her to take care of herself, taught her to put make-up on and fix her hair, taught her about life... She taught her daughter that the most important thing she could do was to love the Lord, and to live her life for Him, and that she could do all things through Him, and that He had placed gifts in her that she would be able to use to reach others if she would follow Him. 

     As the years went by and the child grew, and the mom now had to look up at her daughter to talk to her, she still took time to listen and advise and love the precious one she was entrusted with. Eventually, the time came for the young girl to leave home. She left with a heart that knew how to love, hands that longed to help others, and a heart to do the will of her heavenly Father. The young girl didn't always make the right choices and didn't always do the right things, but she knew she was loved, and she loved her mom. 

     Finally, the girl took a new hand, the hand of the man that would be her husband, and she had two children of her own - a son and a daughter. She used the knowledge and training of years past in learning how to be a mom herself. She tried her very best to pour into her children all of the love and wisdom that had been poured into her life by her mom. And thankfully, her mom was there to take her grandchildren by the hand and teach them and love them with unconditional love. This beautiful mom is building a legacy still in the lives of her daughter and her grandchildren, and now, in her stepson as well. She is there to be happy for them and rejoice with them in the good times, and also to weep and hold their hands and hold their hearts in the bad times. She has been, and still is, an inspiration to her whole family, and I am so thankful that I can call her my MOM."

Scars

Several years ago, when my daughter was still practically a baby, she began to have problems with her ears; she had infection after infection. This led to the inevitable need for ear tubes, which seemed to help. But then, after quite a bit of time had passed, she began to have problems with her right ear again and we had to take her back to the doctor to see what the next step would be. They found that when the tube on the right side came out, it had left a hole that would not heal. The doctor checked and rechecked over many months, and finally told us that the hole was not going to heal on its

The Heart of the Matter

⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” ~1 Samuel 16:7

It’s such a nice feeling to pass by someone in a store, at work, at church, on the street, etc., and they look at you with a smile on their face – maybe even say “How are you today?” It’s a courtesy that is often overlooked in this world full of people with 2,000 Facebook friends that don’t even know their next door neighbors. We are often detached and like to keep it that way, thinking that if we look up and smile at someone, we might actually end up having to stop and talk to someone. We might even have to invest some time in that person, rather than just click “like” on their status. We might, rather than just see the smile on their face, actually find out what’s going on in that person’s life; their concerns, their joys, their fears, their excitement, or their pain. And sometimes we just don’t want to get involved in all that, so we don’t look at them, just keep moving and staying busy, don’t get involved, basically…don’t care. Oh, we would never say we didn’t care, or maybe even admit that to ourselves. When it comes right down to it though, while we’re thinking we don’t have time to hear someone else’s heart, we are often avoiding having to look at our own.

You see, a smile on someone’s face is pleasant and makes us feel that a person is friendly, makes us feel comfortable. But, a smile can mask deep hurt, rejection, feelings of inadequacy, and so many other things. We often put on a good face for friends so that they will think everything is okay. We put on a good face at work and laugh with coworkers as we go about our daily duties. We put on a good face for our family when we may have health concerns or financial concerns, or when they’ve hurt us and we just can’t admit it to them. There are so many reasons that we put on our smiley mask to show the world that all is well. We put on that smile and “It’s so good to see you,” at church with people that love us like family so that they won’t see the turmoil, the doubts, the sin, the ugliness going on inside. But there is one that sees through all of that façade, who can see the true self behind the mask, and the true heart that lies within.

When we come before Him in worship, He sees what’s really going on in our heart. He sees whether the things we do are for show, or whether we do them out of a true desire to serve and love Him. When we lift our hands up to Him and sing His praises, He knows whether we do it out of a sense of obligation or out of a genuine longing for His Presence. Regardless of how “holy” we think we may look as we lift Him up, He is the only one that can see the true nature of our worship…whether it is about us or about Him.

None of us are perfect, none of us has it all together (regardless of how we may try to appear that we do), and all of us are in desperate need of a Savior. We cannot fool Him into thinking He has our heart. He either does or He doesn’t, and He knows which it is for sure. What it comes down to is this; our heart is what matters to God, not our words. We can say all the right things all day long, but if we aren’t walking it out and showing our faith through the life that we live, we are simply showing that our faith is dead and that our heart is far from Him. It’s time that we put aside the mask and stop worrying about the appearance of perfection – we aren’t perfect, not one of us! We need to set our heart on the things of God and love Him above all else. His love for us is like no other, unfailing, unconditional, full of compassion, and never-ending. It’s time to realize that the heart of the matter is this: our heart IS what matters to Him more than anything else, and He is just waiting to lavish His love upon us.

Walking Through the Process

And it came to pass, when Jesus had made an end of commanding his twelve disciples, he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities. ² Now when John had heard in the prison the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples, ³ and said unto him, “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” ⁴ Jesus answered and said unto them, “Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see: ⁵ The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them. ⁶ And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.” Matthew 11:1-6

This past Sunday morning, I heard such an amazing message from this text at our church. You know how you can read the same section of scripture several times, and then one time it really speaks to you in a new and different way? Well, that’s what happened Sunday morning. This is what was spoken about:  John had devoted his life to his ministry, forerunner of the Messiah, telling the world to “repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” In going back and reading Matthew 3, we find more about John the Baptist’s lifestyle and ministry, and we see his complete commitment to what he was called to do.

However, in Matthew 11:1-6, John the Baptist is in prison, and “the kingdom of heaven is at hand” wasn’t exactly the way that he had pictured it. This is why he asked if Jesus was the Messiah, or whether we should look for another. Jesus wanted John to know that miracles were being performed and that the gospel was being preached, and that John shouldn’t be offended because things had not turned out the way he expected. I was so convicted as I listened to this point because there have been MANY times that I have felt that way. Oh, I didn’t come out and say that I was offended at God because my life, or career, or ministry, or whatever, just didn’t go the way I had planned, it was more of an internal struggle. Thankfully, I wasn’t sitting in a prison, as John was, but maybe in a prison in my mind…a cage constructed by my flesh detailing the way my life should go.

     I may not have been as vocal about my lack of contentment or voiced anger and disappointment the way that others might, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel it. There have been times that I firmly believed that things were supposed to turn out differently than they did, and sometimes it was my own fault, my sin, my pride, my weakness, or just the fact that I wasn’t ready, that meant that MY plans didn’t work out. And then sometimes, it really just came down to that fact…that they were MY plans, not God’s.

     God knows the perfect timing for all things in our lives. He knows the trials that we will have to face, and He knows the mountains we will have to climb, as well as the storms we will have to weather. I think that I could say this in nearly every blog post…He does all things perfectly…this is just a fact. If we don’t get the job we were hoping for, if we don’t get that promotion, if we’re passed over for a raise, if the medical tests don’t return the hoped for results, it doesn’t mean that NO is the final answer. Many times it just means not yet. In all of the stages and seasons of our lives, we have much to learn and the opportunity to grow. This all comes through a process, it isn’t instantaneous. In looking back, I understand so many things now that I couldn’t begin to understand in the past. There were lessons I had to learn, there were strengths that I had to acquire through testing and trial, there was a time of refinement that I had to go through, and that I still am going through. I continue to go through the process in order to become all that God has made me to be. For instance, if I had gone down a different road nearly twenty years ago, the one I believed was right at that time, I know for a fact that I would have been a completely different person and would have had to face some very hard lessons in order to get me back where I needed to be. At the time it didn’t make sense, but looking back I am able to see God’s wisdom in moving me towards a different path.

                I’m so thankful for the Word that the preacher brought to us on Sunday because it showed me that in these past times when I felt like the biggest failure or a huge disappointment, that wasn’t the case; I just wasn’t seeing the bigger picture. God has a perfect plan and design for my life, and it may not fit the pattern I always had for myself, but it fits the pattern He has for me – and He always has the very best in store for us…always.

Still

Then the Lord called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.” ⁵ And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down. ⁶ Again the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” “My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” ⁷ Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. ⁸ A third time the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy. ⁹ So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. ¹⁰ The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”


Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:4-10

                It seems these days in this extremely fast-paced world that we live in, it is very difficult (and rare) to find a quiet moment. Sometimes I feel that if I have any hope of getting any writing done, I will have to go away and find a cabin in the woods or a bungalow by the ocean just to find a little peace.  There is always a tight schedule to be followed that barely allows room to breathe, as well as a list of “to do’s” that would probably take me six months to finish if I did  nothing else but work on it solid! But on this rainy morning here at home, although I am not surrounded by the sound of silence and not alone, I have found that quiet place of stillness in Him. It’s a place that is hard to describe, a place of peace and contentment, of hope and inspiration, of perfect love and trust. I am overwhelmed…

                When we take the time to get still before God and place Him in His rightful place as first priority in our lives, He will begin to speak to our heart. When we don’t have the answers and don’t know what to do, then we need to get still before the Lord, quiet all of the distractions that occupy so much of our time, and listen to His voice. It’s easy to come before God with prayers that He will meet needs for those we love, as well as for ourselves, but it is harder to just stop and hear what He has to say to us instead of bombarding Him with everything we want and need.

                So often we treat our heavenly Father as if He is there to fulfill a supernatural “to do” list for us, while the whole time He is longing for fellowship with us. He wants our time and His desire is to have our full devotion and all of our heart. God walked and talked with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and He still wants to have those talks with us as we walk with Him daily if we will only take the time to be still in His Presence. And in the same way that God called out to Samuel in the night in 1 Samuel 3:10, He is calling out to us and waiting for us to say, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”



Unchained

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

     Imagine, just for a moment, a dungeon; foul smelling, dank, rat infested…a place of pure misery for a prisoner. Look at the walls and see the chains hanging down with shackles locked tightly at the end to clamp securely around a criminal’s wrists. Look down and see the chain on the floor with shackles at each end, fitted to give someone barely enough leeway to take a single step. Look around at the heavy door with only a small bar-covered opening that allows a guard to look in on the prisoner. Notice the darkness of the cell and think about the utter despair someone would feel to be locked up in that cold, unforgiving place of isolation. We all have been (or still are) in that dungeon. We were bound by the chains of sin, the shackles of death, and were completely lost. Thankfully, Jesus came to set us free from all of that. Through His death on the cross and His resurrection, He purchased our salvation, completely setting us free from everything that had bound us up. He walked right up to the door of our cell and unlocked it, then loosed us from the shackles and chains. We didn’t do anything to deserve that freedom, there was nothing that we could do to earn it, and yet He set us free because He loved us too much to leave us imprisoned in the dark.


     In Luke 4:18, Jesus is quoting the scripture from Isaiah 61:1, which says this:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

He has set us free through His perfect work at the cross. And yet, so many times we find ourselves sitting unshackled, unchained, on the floor of the cell staring at the open door, but not moving. Why is that? When viewed this way, it doesn’t make any sense! But God HAS set us free, and yet we still sit there playing with our old chains and wallowing in the dirt of that nasty cell. Again, WHY? Habits, addictions, vices, “pet” sins, whatever you want to call it, it’s still the same…bondage. Jesus came so that we would have life and have it more abundantly, not so that we would be stuck in the muck and mire of the past. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.” Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price so that we would be free and He did that so that we would walk in that freedom. Read that last part again: “…do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.” Do not LET yourselves…this tells us that it is our choice! We must choose to not wear those old chains. We must choose to lay down anything that comes between us and the Lord. He won’t force us to lay those things down. He won’t force us to leave that cell. However, He has opened the door wide to allow us to walk out into the light of a new life in Him and into complete freedom.

     That isn’t just freedom from sin. We have freedom from addiction, gluttony, lust, pride, envy, and jealousy, but also from oppression, depression, anxiety, defeat, and so many other things that the enemy and our flesh would like to keep us bound up with. When we repent of our sins and ask God for forgiveness, and Jesus becomes our Savior, His Spirit then dwells inside of us. That means He is always with us, good times and bad, no matter what, always. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. When His Spirit is in us we have freedom in our lives every day. It’s up to us, whether we will just sit there with our chains and stare at that open door, or whether we will choose to get up, walk out of that prison and live in freedom through Christ. He has paid the ultimate price, the question we face is whether or not we will step out into the fullness of His grace and love to live the abundant life of freedom that awaits us. Selah.

The Seasons of Life...

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

     Yesterday as I ran errands after work, I had some quiet time to enjoy the beauty of fall that seemed to be everywhere I looked. It may not be considered extravagant beauty to some people, but to me it was like being surrounded by the most elegant masterpiece. There were wide fields of cotton all around, just waiting to be harvested, and trees with sections of branches that looked as though they had been gently dipped in gold, auburn and red. Fall is definitely my favorite season of the year! I love the gorgeous colors, the pumpkin pie, football games and the marching band, leaves crunching under my feet, and evenings snuggled with my children as we drink hot chocolate. Fall is beautiful and full of comforts, it amazes me!

     Well, have you ever wondered what the world would be like if there were no changing of the seasons… Have you ever considered how very different life would be if we lived in a never-ending season of spring? How would it be to always have to skate around on the ice rink of winter? We live in a world that God created to shift perfectly from winter to spring to summer to fall. The changing of the seasons helps to make a perfect environment for us to live in. We have a time of sowing in the spring and reaping the harvest in the fall. Many animals have a time of stocking up before their long winter’s nap. All of these seasons work together to create a beautiful balance for our world.

     In the same way, our lives are made up different seasons. The seasons of our lives are not always predictable. You may believe you are in the deepest, coldest, most barren part of winter, when actually you are about to step out into the bright, thawing sunshine of spring. And in exactly the opposite way, we may feel that we are in the most beautiful season of our lives when everything seems to be going just right, and then suddenly the rug gets pulled out from under us and we find ourselves in a wilderness of desolation.

     We can’t know when these seasons are going to change. We don’t have a calendar that applies to life. However, when we are seeking the Lord and listening to His voice, He is able to prepare us for the seasons that lie ahead. It's His wisdom that will lead us through the darkest valleys and the loneliest paths. And even when we seem to be in the most perfect seasons of life, we will only find true joy and peace in our Savior’s love.

     There have been times in my life when I was happy, fully content, and did not want to be moved. But suddenly I found myself in the midst of a changing season. I found myself moving from the fullness of summer into the coldness of winter, where all of the leaves have fallen off the trees and left what seemed like only bareness and emptiness behind in my soul.  I have been in that place where the things that had made me comfortable and that I had held onto so dearly were completely stripped away. It was a place of unease, of questioning, and doubt. These are the times that we have to learn to trust. This is where we find out what our faith is actually made of, when we have to put action to the words that have been coming out of our mouth.

     The amazing thing about the changing of a season, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, is that this is also the time that we learn to fly. When we are holding on tightly to the One who holds the universe in His hands, then no matter how our surroundings change, how people change, how things change, we won’t lose our way because He won’t let us go. In the times that I have felt like I was backtracking, or that I had lost all that I had worked for, or was unhappy with the direction God was leading me, I learned to trust the Lord because He ALWAYS knows what is best for us! In every one of those situations, God was using that season in my life to help me grow spiritually. Just as a mother eagle has to make the nest uncomfortable in order to get her young to leave the nest, God has to make us uncomfortable in order to move us! It may not always be easy, but the changing seasons in our life are meant to draw us closer to Him and to bring about maturity in us. Those seasons are meant to mold us into who God is calling us to be. Daniel 2:21 says, “He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.” God changes the times and seasons. He knows what we need and exactly when we need it. He knows when we’re ready and we’re not ready. His timing is always perfect.

     As we take in the beauty of the winter, spring, summer and fall, we must remember that the seasons in our lives are filled with beauty, artfully crafted by the God who loves us infinitely, and essential for us to grow in Him and in the callings and gifts He has placed in each of us. We may not always understand what He is doing in our lives, and we may not be able to see the big picture, but we can rest in the knowledge that He knows the right time for everything in the seasons of life. We only have to trust Him.

No Longer Aimless...

Today as I sat in the bleachers watching my daughter play basketball, I was just amazed at her tenacity and her drive to play hard and do her best. I beamed and cheered her on as she and her teammates scored, so proud of them all. My daughter tried out for the team with no prior experience playing, and she made the team. She is the smallest one on her team, and has had to work very hard to learn the game and to keep up. But after months of practice, I can truly see the results of her labor. If she stays the course and continues to play, I know that she will be a fantastic asset to the team as she gets better over time. There is more than one component that will determine her success though. Hard work is a key factor, and makes all the difference in the world, but a good teacher is vitally important. My daughter has a coach that puts God first and sets a wonderful example for the girls, not only in the game, but life in general. She teaches them not only how to play the game, but is one of the best role models for the girls that anyone could ever ask for.

After we got home from the game, I saw a video someone had posted online that showed a herd of elk crossing the highway. It was a massive herd, and they had to jump a fence before they could get across the road. The elk flowed like a river over the fence, jumping in turn as if they were all connected to one another. The line of elk stretched almost as far as the eye could see, all following the leader as they crossed. But one of the elk was unable to jump the fence, whether it didn’t have enough of a running start or was afraid or hesitant, it just couldn’t do it. All of the herd had crossed the road and were out of the camera’s line of sight, while the one lone elk ran up and down the fence trying to find a way out. It tried a few times to find a way over the fence, but got tangled up. Suddenly, it turned away from the fence and began to run. I wondered for a moment if it was giving up, but then it did an about face and headed back toward the fence and with a long running start. It was finally able to jump the fence and ran until it reached the rest of the herd.

Both the basketball game and the elk herd really struck home with me today on a spiritual level. As I watched the girls play this morning, working together as a unit to attempt to score, each doing their job and helping one another out, I was reminded of how we as Christians are all part of the body of Christ, different callings and different gifts, but all working together to lead the lost to Jesus. No one person is more important than another, but every member of the body of Christ is equally important. Just as the girls have a great coach for their team, Jesus is the head of the body Christ. If the girls didn’t listen to their coach and didn’t put into practice all that they had learned and worked so hard on, then they would just be running aimlessly up and down the court. In the same way, if we don’t listen to the voice of God, we will find ourselves wandering aimlessly through our lives with no definitive sense of purpose or direction, flailing in deep waters that we are unable to navigate. But if we will listen to Him and follow our leader, who was willing to lay down His life for us, then we will find the ultimate purpose for our lives as we pursue Him. Jesus was willing to give it all so that we would be able to live life to the very fullest in Him. He was willing to suffer for our redemption and deliverance, for our complete forgiveness and restoration, and so that we would be healed and never have to endure complete separation from Him in hell.

And I was reminded by the video of the elk herd how important it is that we endure. The elk must have felt completely helpless as it watched its entire herd getting farther and farther away, without knowing how it would be able to clear the fence. But, just when it could have given up, it began to run once again and finally got past the obstacle in its path. Many times in our own lives we become frustrated by the mountain in front of us, allowing doubt to consume us as we stare at the height and width of it, when the Lord is telling us that HE will take us up on the heights, that HE is able to move the mountain or move us over it! We simply cannot give up or give in, no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. We must run with everything that we have toward the prize, toward what the Lord has called us to do, toward HIM.

And of course, God had tied it all together for me with his Word as I read this morning in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27… “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” I love it when God speaks so clearly! I do not want to be as a man running aimlessly, but I will run full on, pressing forward toward the prize…in spite of what I see or feel, what I hear or think, I will press on in Him. I am running towards my Savior, running to Jesus.

Time of Renewing...

The quiet, cracked and gray road stretches out before me, its yellow and white lines merely mesmerizing blurs as I move ahead. The trees extend their long arms over me as I pass below, strewing leaves gently dipped in the gold, red and bronze hues of fall. Fields full of crops waiting to be harvested are all around me, as well as houses decorated with pumpkins, hay bales and Indian corn. For years, in fact for most of my life, driving this particular road has been a refuge for me. As a child, I spent countless hours riding down it, playing with dolls and daydreaming as I stared out at the stars. I would ride in the back of my dad’s old truck at the end of the day and admire the beautiful sunset painted across the sky. I’ve driven this road on the way to the very best times, such as Christmas with family, and Sunday afternoon catfish dinners with never-ending glasses of sweet tea. But I’ve also had to make mundane trips to pay bills and get groceries, and had to make the hard trek to say goodbye to a precious loved one for the last time. My mind goes many places as I drive this road. It’s a place of fond memories and of heartbreak. It’s a place for me to find peace, and more often than not, inspiration. I am nearly always motivated to write when I’ve been down that road, and it is a precious place to find some alone time with the Lord.

However, as I drove down the road a few days ago, instead of inspiration I began to rehash past mistakes I’ve made. And in that moment, the Lord reminded me how important it is for me to renew my mind. It is vital for ALL of us to renew our minds, not once a year, or every six months…but daily. I immediately got my thought process straight and began to set my heart on things above, on who the Lord has called me to be, as well as all the things He has done in my life and wants to do! What an inspiring and renewing moment it is when you realize that in spite of where you have been, the God who created the universe will restore you! I am so thankful that He has redeemed me. I am able to live an abundant life in Him because He has restored me. I cling to this word from Philippians 3:12-14:

                “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

We have to make a choice to leave the past in the past. We have to choose to move forward in Christ. We have to choose to renew our mind daily. WE HAVE TO CHOOSE. Each day we have so many choices to make. It is up to us whether we will choose to beat ourselves up over our mistakes, whether we will live discouraged because things may not always turn out the way we had planned, or whether we will accept the joy unspeakable and full of glory that only comes from trusting in and walking with our Savior. When we renew our mind He reminds us who we are in Him, and He reminds us of Jeremiah 29:11…”’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

God has given all of us places of peace and inspiration, places where we find His truth and hear His voice. We must not let the enemy steal that from us by allowing him to have control of our mind. We have been redeemed, bought with such a precious price, and the cost was much too high for us to not renew our mind and allow Him to light up all of our dark places. The time of renewing is now. What will you choose?