What Lies Beneath...

This is a hard subject to talk on, but one that I feel strongly led to write about. I sat down to write what was on my heart yesterday, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Sometimes, it can be very hard to find where to start, and it’s easier just to pack away what is on my heart than to pour it out.

I’m about to say something brutally honest. So before you get offended, please hear me out.

Are you ready? Have you braced yourself?

Okay, here goes… None of us, and I mean NONE of us, are perfect. Not a single one of the humans on this earth are without flaw; not you, and certainly not me. Did you fall in the floor from the shock of what I said? Most likely you were not shocked at all because, let’s face it; we all know that we are a very long way from perfection. We don’t lie when we look in the mirror and say to ourselves, “Hey, you! You in the mirror…you are absolutely perfect!” Okay, so maybe there are some narcissistic people that might say that…

The truth is that we all have issues, have all made mistakes, and are all a work in progress. We had a pastor visit our church a couple of weeks ago that talked about how we are all under construction. When I went to kids’ camp as a child, our theme one summer was “Kids Under Construction.” This is the truth of who we are as followers of Christ; we are continually being molded and shaped into the image of our Father. We seek daily to become like the One who saved us and gave His all for us.

Why then, do we feel the need to wear a mask and be fake as we go about our day? Why then, do we feel the need to hide behind a façade? The meaning of façade is this: “The image that a person presents to others.” A façade is not who we truly are, but how we wish to appear. I’m not saying that if we are having a bad day, or someone hurts our feelings, that we should go around falling in the floor crying about it, but why do we feel the need to wear the mask that says (untruthfully), “I have it all together?” It seems that this is especially true in the Church. Our youth pastor’s wife made a comment this past week that the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” is not something that will work with God. He sees through to the core of who we are. We can fake all we want to, but He doesn’t see the mask we wear. He sees what lies beneath it.

I put up a post on social media this week about needing a safe place, a place where we can be real. But sometimes we don’t have a safe place. Sometimes we don’t feel that there is anyone we can talk to about what we are struggling with, what we are discouraged about, what or who has hurt us, or how we may have messed up. I have a friend that always says, “Loose lips sink ships,” and another friend posted a meme today that said, “Be careful who you vent to. A listening ear is also a running mouth.” This is why we have such a hard time finding that safe place…we feel that we just can’t know for sure once we have taken our mask off that the person who sees what lies beneath that mask won’t run and tell everyone else how flawed we are. We have a hard time with trust. It’s often said that “ministry is a very lonely place,” and this is one of the reasons why…we so often pour out what God has put inside of us for others, but then feel that there is no one we can trust there for us when we need them.

We, as Christians, as followers of Christ, should be completely trustworthy. When someone bares their darkest parts, areas in which they need prayer, or just needs to talk things out privately, we have to prove ourselves worthy of that trust. The only One we should share with is the Lord as we lift them up to Him in prayer. We each need a safe place, so we should always treat others as we wish to be treated in matters of privacy.

There are times and seasons, however, where we may no longer have a safe place, or may not have found that place yet, and what we have to understand is that GOD is always that safe place. He is our shelter. He loves us more than anyone has ever loved us, and He only wants the very best for us as we seek His face and follow after His heart. We have not attained perfection, but we strive for it daily in Him. Each day, we should be doing our very best to live pure and holy lives as we walk with the Lord.

I heard a song this week by a group called Skillet that really pulls the mask off in a very real and truthful way. It’s called “Monster,” and talks about how we so often hide what is inside because we don’t want people to know who we really are when no one else is around. If you don’t like this band or the music, just please give credence to the message they present as they reach young people for Christ.

“The secret side of me I never let you see,

I keep it caged, but I can’t control it

So stay away from me, the beast is ugly

I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it

It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls

It comes awake and I can’t control it

Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head

Why won’t somebody come and save me from this? Make it end

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster.”

 

I know that this has been a long post, but it is vitally important. What is hidden must be dealt with. If you have a dish of old food on the kitchen counter, you can spray air freshener all you want to, but all it will do is mask the smell. Eventually, the rotten, moldy food must be uncovered, thrown in the trash and taken out! We can continue to wear our masks day in and day out, and the people we come in contact with may never know the difference; but God sees through to our heart. He always knows the truth, and He loves us enough to not want us to stay in that shape anymore. Masking what is inside can lead to depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and despair. Uncovering the deep wounds and allowing them to be healed will bring restoration and peace, forgiveness and hope. It’s time stop covering up what lies beneath, and allow our Savior to shine His light into those dark places. It’s time to find our safe place in Him, throw our masks aside, and allow Him to shape us into His glorious image.

Stillness

I have felt a heaviness resting on me lately. It’s been like a weight resting on my shoulders day in and day out. There was not really any particular reason for it, although a few things may have contributed to it along the way. It just wasn’t anything I could really pin down. I would pray, worship, seek the Lord, and was still feeling the weight. Teens these days would say I had a case of the “feels,” or that I was “all up in my feelings!” And, maybe I was…well, definitely I was.

Have you ever experienced this? It’s that feeling that you’re walking outside on a beautiful sunny day with a dark cloud hovering right above your head everywhere you go. You try to wave it away, try to ignore it, put on a smile and go on, but it just won’t go away.

God has been doing miraculous things in my life, in our family, our church, and in the lives of friends. And as wonderful as it would be to live on that mountaintop, it is not reality. I’ve always heard it said that you are either going into a trial, in the midst of a trial, or coming out of one. So, you are either going up the mountain, you’re on top of the mountain, or you’re descending from it. There is also the possibility that you are going around it, trying to avoid it! I know that because of what God has been doing in my life, it is inevitable that opposition will come from the enemy. I know these things, and yet, still was walking around feeling defeated.

Since I am armed with this knowledge, the question becomes, “How will I overcome this?” I can smile all day long and walk around like nothing is going on, while complete turmoil is roiling on the inside. I can put on my mask and pretend that I have it all together. OR, I can draw near to God, knowing that when I do so, HE will draw near to me. I actually posted something on social media this week about this very subject; not because I was preaching it to anyone else, but because I needed it for myself. I know that when I’m going through something like this, the only answer is to press into His Presence, to delve deep into His Word, to renew my mind daily so that I will be transformed from that “darkness” I’m trapped under, into His glorious light! Darkness cannot remain in the perfect love and holy presence of God.

Then this morning, I woke up and felt the Lord drawing me to Him. Not just to go sit on the couch and read my bible or to put in some headphones and listen to worship music; no, he was calling me into the quiet place, into the stillness and peace that can only be found in Him. I didn’t make my coffee. I didn’t fix breakfast. I went and grabbed my bible and my daily devotional, and headed outside. I really felt that I needed to go out and sit under a tree in the middle of the yard and read. I didn’t know why at the time. But when the Lord draws you, it is always the right choice to obey, whether you understand or not.

I went outside and opened up my devotion first, and began to read about God drawing us to Him in the quiet of the morning. He was confirming to me exactly why He had wanted me to go outside. I needed to get away from all the distractions, all of the noise of everyday life. I was not interrupted as I read my bible and spent time with the Lord. I was not pulled this way and that. I was in the quiet place with the Lord, in that place of restoration and healing, that place of joy and perfect peace. I was in that place where darkness cannot hide and where the clouds must lift. In stillness, the weight lifted. As I knew that my Savior and my Redeemer wanted that quiet time with me this very morning (and every morning), that He loves me so much that in every moment of my life He is holding me close, I felt the weight lift. As I sought His heart, I felt the weight lift.

We don’t have to walk around defeated. We don’t have to feel beaten down and discouraged. We don’t even have to be anxious or depressed, not knowing the reasons why we feel that way. He has made us MORE than conquerors, and in Him we are able to overcome through the blood of Jesus and through the word of our testimony. If you are trying to wave away your dark cloud today, don’t try to do it in your own strength. Find stillness in that quiet place, the secret place of the Most High, press into His Presence and find peace in the midst of your storm.

Overcoming the Obstacle of the Distorted Mirror

Overcoming the Obstacle of the Distorted Mirror

A few weeks ago, as I opened up my internet home page, one of the main news headlines on MSN was talking about a certain reality star “rockin’ a bikini at 40!” Yes, folks, items like this are headline news. Oh, there were other stories about what was going on in the government, in the world of finance, probably some new bacteria or virus somewhere, gasoline prices, and other similar subjects; but who could care about those things when so-and-so is “rockin’ a bikini at 40?”

The article was a symptom to me of a deeper issue in our society. We all know that there is a great deal of attention given to all sorts of famous people around the world, but the issue I’m referring to is the one in which our worth is determined by how we look, or even, what we have. The issue is that of a superficial mindset that looks at the outside, and asserts judgment as to who a person is on the inside. This is the issue of the distorted mirror.

I have wasted so many years of my life feeling insecure about how I looked in the mirror. I would look at the covers of magazines and see what looked like perfection on each one while waiting my turn in the check-out line. I have stood and stared at the covers of those books or at the gum selection, or whatever might be at hand, just so that someone I know passing by would hopefully not notice that I was standing there…in turn seeing just how inadequate I was. I am currently preparing to shoot the cover for my upcoming album, and while this should be an exciting time, I instead find myself feeling dread and apprehension because I won’t look like a model on one of those covers.

Where does this mindset come from that our outside has to look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful? Why do we have to drive a certain kind of car or live in a certain kind of house in order to seem successful and worthy? Why does our job have to determine who we are?

First of all, no matter how amazing or perfect you look on the outside, God sees through to the heart. If that isn’t beautiful and pleasing to Him, then no amount of diets, makeup, Botox, exercise, hair dye, fancy clothes, or anything else will make you truly beautiful. No matter what you have, if you don’t have Jesus as your Savior, then you have nothing. Possessions are temporary, and we all know that we can’t take them with us when we go. When you stand before God someday, you won’t pull up in that sports car or hand Him a wad of cash to pay your way into Heaven. He will only want to know one thing. He will want to know if you gave your all to Jesus. No matter what kind of job you have, whether you are the CEO of a major corporation or cleaning the parking lot outside that corporation, each of us is the same in the eyes of God.

I have come to realize that no matter how imperfect I may appear to be on the outside, God made me perfect in His sight. I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I can walk with my head held high because I am a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The One who created the universe loves me so much that He sent His son to die for my sin, to take all of my shame, and to redeem me to Himself. He loves me unconditionally with a love like no other. I will do all that I can to shine His light into this world and to show His love to everyone I meet. I will smile. I will show compassion. I will be kind. I will be honest, even though the truth is sometimes painful. I will strive daily to be like Jesus.

You see, it doesn’t matter how the world views me, or even how I view myself in the distorted mirror of my own mind. My worth is found in Him. Whether I am a size 2 or a size 22, the one thing that determines my worth is who I am in Christ. Whether I am driving a Pinto or a Porsche, my worth is not found in the things of this world, but in Christ.

I hope that today, this moment, we will stop looking at the outside, and begin to look for what really matters in a person. And I hope that we will smash that distorted mirror image we have of ourselves, the mirror that is warped by feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing. I hope that we will begin to look deeper in ourselves, and in those around us, to find the real beauty inside when we reflect the light of Christ. It doesn’t matter if you can rock a bikini at 70! What does matter is if you are standing on THE Rock…Jesus.